|The reason that Wife Abandonment Syndrome is so traumatic is that the change in the husband’s behavior is dramatic, sudden and unexplained.In order to justify his decision not to include his wife in the process that led to the end of the marriage, he needs to come up with a compelling explanation for his actions. That explanation often has little to do with reality, causing the bewildered wife, who had previously trusted her husband’s word, to wrack her brains trying to make sense out of something that is inherently nonsensical.The type of man who abandons often appears to be unusually moral and trustworthy, making it even harder for the wife to accept that his words are empty justifications. The most important first step in healing for a woman in this situation is the realization that her husband is not the man she thought she knew and that he never was.
Ten Hallmarks of Wife Abandonment Syndrome
1. Prior to the separation, the husband had seemed to be an attentive, engaged spouse, looked upon by his wife as honest and trustworthy.
2. The husband had never indicated that he was unhappy in the marriage or thinking of leaving, and the wife believed herself to be in a secure relationship.
3. By the time he reveals his feelings to his wife, the end of the marriage is already a fait accompli and the husband moves out quickly.
6. The husband’s behavior changes radically, feeling to his wife that he has become a cruel and vindictive stranger.
7. The husband exhibits no remorse; rather, anger is directed toward his wife and he may describe himself as the victim.
9. The husband makes no attempt to help his wife,
10. Systematically devaluing the marriage, the husband redefines what had previously been an agreed-upon view of the couple’s joint history.
Warning Signs for Married Women of Possible W.A.S. (even if your husband has not talked about being unhappy in the marriage)
2. Does he seem uncharacteristically unhappy with his life, even if his complaints are not related to the marriage. It’s a sign that he may be re-thinking his life.
3. Do you notice a personality change? Does he just not seem himself? Is he withdrawn or suddenly irritable? Is he snapping at the children or not wanting to participate in family activities?
4. Are his habits changing – suddenly going to the gym, buying flashier clothes, dying his hair, getting a tattoo, buying an expensive car?