8/23

Surgery went well.  The anesthesiologist tried to talk me into having general instead of a spinal (because you can get home faster, it can cause a spinal headache, etc. etc.), but I wasn’t having it, thank God.  I also let him know right off the bat where he could go if he thought I was going to let him put in a catheter before the spinal was in; I learned that lesson when I had my c-section.

I’m not sure why he gave me Versed–it really wasn’t necessary, but on the other hand, who am I to turn down a benzo?–but he did, and therefore I don’t remember doodie.  No nausea, no weird restless leg thing.  I was in at 10 and out shortly after 4–no big deal.

The only bad thing was that my back hurts.  I started having really bad back pain as the numbness wore off.  I didn’t tell them, because I was afraid they’d give me something that would make me sick, and I was hoping maybe it was just from staying in the same position for so long.  When I came home, she was asleep, so I was torn between letting her sleep so I could lay down and waking her up so she’d go to bed before 10:30 tonight.  I seem to be tolerating food okay, so I took Advil, and that took away the pain enough for me to be sort of functional.

TECHNICALLY, someone is supposed to be here with me, but I really just couldn’t bring myself to ask anyone to stay over here.  I’ll be fine.

And tomorrow morning, I get to have coffee.  And shower.  If I knew I wouldn’t be allowed to shower, I would have done so this morning.

This was a really boring post.

My…whatever he is…has been more loving and affectionate in the last few days (as have I), and I’m torn between “it’s too soon / this is going to mess with your head” and “I can’t turn my back on him.”  It’ll be okay.  I’ll be okay.  My desire to do the right thing is ruling my life for maybe the first time ever, so I’m going with it and enjoying feeling like I’m actually a good person.

My daughter is playing with her pirate ship, and she’s making the pirate and skeleton pirate have a conversation and dance together.  It’s so fascinating watching her make up conversations with two characters.  Now the one is telling other “Say map!  Say map!” and then telling him that they’re going to go over the bridge next.  Etc. etc. etc ad delightum.

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